


Not Boring Anymore.

by Puppyinabox



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Altar Sex, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Attempt at Humor, Catholic Guilt, Church Sex, Confessional, Demon Sex, Extremely Dubious Consent, I'm Going to Hell, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mythology References, Priest Kink, Priest!guillermo, Rape/Non-con Elements, Religion, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Fantasy, Virginity, demon!nandor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:48:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25543126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Puppyinabox/pseuds/Puppyinabox
Summary: Manning the confessional booth at night isn't as sexy as it sounds, unless a horny demon is involved.(Elements of rape/noncon, tagged to be safe.  Priest!guillermo has an interesting night with demon!Nandor.  Mentions of gangbang fantasy and semi-public and public oral sex.)
Relationships: (IMPLIED), Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless, Guillermo de la Cruz/Topher
Comments: 15
Kudos: 82





	Not Boring Anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> I attempted humor in the beginning I'm sorryi

Booth duty was usually surprisingly boring. It wasn't all wanton sinners and guilty perverts, most of the time it was rather empty. Besides silence there was the occasional instance of someone stealing from another, or thoughts or rage at something someone did. In fact usually all Father De La Cruz encountered while waiting in the booth was a moth that frequented the small incandescent bulb that lit each half of the booth. It flitted about on black wings, seeming to dance around the light. One night De La Cruz had spoken to the moth,

"Are you the same little moth from last night? Or are you a friend? Did someone recommend this light to you? Perhaps there's another moth in the other booth, and that moth is confessing… moth sins?" Father Guillermo chuckled at himself, astutely watching the rosary beads pass between his fingers as he fiddled with the string of beads, "so bored I'm talking to a moth…" He said, not looking back up,

"Funny, there's a moth in here." Came a low voice from the other booth,

Father De La Cruz nearly yelped in surprise, "Oh! Gosh- I apologize, I didn't hear you enter the booth."

"It is fine. Do you still have your little friend?"

"Uh-" He looked up, "No, seems like the moth is gone."

The man in the other booth hummed, "That is a shame. You must be rather lonely, tending to this work at night."

"Its- it gets boring, I guess…" He confessed before he shook his head and righted himself, "once again I apologize, how may I help you, son? What weighs on your soul?"

The voice hummed again, low and drawn out,  
"Oh father, there may be too many Sins to count, and too wretched to name…" the man murmured,

Guillermo silently rolled his eyes, another instance of likely excessive and dramatic guilt,  
"Start small, dear one." He said, forcing his tone to stay caring, though there may have been an edge of condescension.

"I have turned men to sin… to betray their lands, their wives, and or their gods…" 

The Father found himself growing uneasy, the temperature in the booth had dropped and yet his skin felt overheated, and he shivered.

"The heavenly Father cares more that you return than that you sin, my child…"

"I have ravaged righteous men of their piety… pillaged godly men of their clean innocence." Even with the screen between them Guillermo felt as if the man breathed his confession against his neck. 

"To understand- uh-" his voice wavered, how could he think of a response. Fear settled into Father De La Cruz's stomach. Though it was not the only feeling that dug it's roots into the Pit of his belly,

"I've touched myself in unholy ways in holy places…" the voice hissed, vowels drawn out to near moans. Guillermo heard shuffling fabric and a low grunt in the booth beside him,

"I- what- what are you doing?"

"Do you think icarus became a moth, father?"

"Who are you?" Guillermo demanded,

"Always trying to grasp the light, to touch it, taste its love and burn in its lust? And to your point, is anonymity not the most important facet of your… voyeurism?"

"It's not voyeurism, it's confession and forgiveness-"

"I have caused the river Euphrates to run red with the blood of innocents." The voice declared,

"Who are you?" De La Cruz demanded,

The other booth door opened and Guillermo rushed out of his to catch sight of this offender.

The man was tall, lean yet muscular, and well dressed. His beard was thick and dark and so was his long hair that cascaded down his shoulders ands around the crimson horns that curled towards his cheeks from the sides of his head. He grinned down at the priest,

"How can you- this is holy ground!" Father guillermo shouted, his voice reverberating off of the empty church walls,

"I may tread wherever lust breathes…" the demon sighed, unabashedly palming himself through his well tailored slacks, "where unholy thoughts dance and… breed."

The priest opened his mouth to deny any such thing but the demon stepped close to him and touched a calloused thumb to his lips,

"Such a mouth… used for holy sacrament, when truly we both know these lips were not meant to wrap around your lord's words."

"I am not- unhand me!" Guillermo brushed the demon's hand away and moved towards the altar to pick up a bible that sat on it.

With inhuman swiftness the demon was pressed against his back, nearly bending him over the alter,

"The- the power of christ compels you, leave this place!" The priest attempted feebly, trying to turn to face the demon.

The demon gripped the back of Guillermo's head by his dark curls and wrenched it so he looked up at the cross that adorned the wall behind the alter,  
"Yet I compel your body to comply…" He leaned in to whisper, "I am called Nandor the relentless, should you feel the need to declare my prowess."

"I won't!" Guillermo said defensively, though his voice cracked around the claim.

Nandor growled and ground his hardness against the swell of De La Cruz's ass through his robes. He licked along the length of the priest's neck and guillermo felt electric. 

The air around them was frigid, yet the demon's body burned so hot, warming Guillermo's skin wherever they touched.  
"Tell me, father, what excites you?" Nandor reached around and groped Father Guillermo's cock through his robes,  
"What causes you to pray so fervently and so filled with shame?"

"No-"

"Confess…" the demon hissed,

"I- I imagine being taken. Being used- used for- oh god-" nandor tugged at Guillermo's hair threateningly at the mention of the lord, "Ah! I, goodness, I imagine f- felat- I imagine sucking another priest off, him using my mouth as I hide behind the pulpit-" the words tumbled from the father's mouth, "and no one knows I'm being such a- lord- ah- such a whore. No one knows besides me and the man using me, and he could very well force me in front of everyone and- oh no…" the priest moaned mournfully as he felt his cock swell,

The demon laughed, hot air against the back of his neck, "you wish to be used?"

Father Guillermo whimpered,

"What else, tell me." Nandor implored,

"I want to be forced to endure pain- endure being used for someone else’s pleasure. I want- I want to be wanted so very much that what I want is no longer a concern-"

The demon growled low at that confession and pinned Guillermo's head to the present altar with one hand. With the other he deftly undid his trousers and shoved aside Guillermo's robes. He tugged down father De La Cruz's underwear and pressed his length between his cheeks, occasionally thrusting and dragging the hot flesh against Guillermo's Virgin hole.

"Foul thing- b-begone from here!"

"I thought you said you wanted to be used… or is this part of your little game?" The demon leaned over guillermo to whisper in his ear, "pretending you don't want something so you're free of guilt? Father? How dishonest…"

"I am- I am a righteous man!" Guillermo said in denial thought the demon was exactly right in his estimate,

"And I am Nandor the relentless." The demon licked two fingers to slick them and plunged them into the priest. Guillermo let out a strangled scream as he was penetrated, his hands balling the sacred white linens that adorned the altar, 

"I have watched you…" Nandor explained, "I've seen you bend over this altar, on full display. Such ripe fruit, claimed to be forbidden by mere vows… so many of the congregation long to pounce on you, silence your holy word with their cocks or cunts or tongues."

Guillermo let out a broken groan as Nandor found his prostate and pressed against it,

"Imagine that, you'd tell yourself you're embodying the eucharistic feast, wouldn't you, embodying both Christ and disciple. Allowing the lay people to partake of whatever they like of your body while you swallow whatever they shove down your liar throat." The hand in Guillermo's hair moved to curl around his neck,

"N-no-" He lied,

"Brother Christopher fantasizes of making you his toy, showing the people you are his…" the demon laughed, "but you are not his… you are far too wanton to belong to merely one man."

"P-please!" Father De La Cruz begged, for what he did not dare contemplate,

"Do you take the sacrament on your knees?" Nandor laughed at his own joke before withdrawing his fingers from Guillermo. He spat into his palm and stroked himself, then lined himself up with Guillermo's hole,

"I-"  
Before he could respond, Nandor thrust into the priest, fully sheathing himself in the tight virginal heat of Father De La Cruz.

"Oh Christ!" Guillermo cried, 

Nandor gripped Guillermo's neck and pointed his gaze to the cross again, "Look upon your symbol, it's looking back. Your messiah sees this shameful display,"

Guillermo let out a moan that was very near a sob,  
"God-"

Nandor cut him off with a growl and withdrew slightly from the priest before thrusting back in, knocking the breath out of Guillermo.

"Oh- oh good Lord-"

"Where is your Lord?!" The demon demanded, his hand curling into Father De La Cruz's hair again, causing his back to the arch in the perfect golden arc, ending where their flesh met,  
"Is he fucking you? Is he making you feel pleasure you'd never even dared to dream of?"

Guillermo cried out with every violent thrust against the tight bundle of nerves inside of him. Briefly he thought of biblical angels, balls of tight fire and eyes and the passion for righteousness. Briefly he imagined that within him, though the thought was quickly dashed against a stone as Nandor's cock slammed into him again.  
"Oh-"

"Who is fucking you?!" The demon demanded,

"Nandor!" Guillermo moaned,  
The demon slapped his open palm against Guillermo's exposed thigh, 

"Again!"

"Nandor!" He cried. He felt his mind slipping, his tongue lolled out from his mouth and he saw the heat of his breath in the frigid air, his wanton panting visible to the eye. 

"Again!"

"Oh- Nandor!" The name was reverent in his sobbed moan, his eyes fluttered back in nearly an attempt to gaze upon the beast that ravaged him. He came onto the linen of the altar, staining the perfect pure fabric with his shame.

The demon sunk his teeth into the meat of Guillermo's shoulder and thrust once more, pumping his molten seed into the priest.  
Guillermo laid limp, bent against the altar, as the demon pulled out of him. He felt hot seed trickle down his plush thigh and he whimpered. As the glow faded he felt distinctly soiled.  
The demon, with uncharacteristic tenderness, gently re-clothed the priest and pressed a kiss against his lower back before correcting his robes and covering his shame.

"That is all I wish to confess." Nandor said, smug grin audible in his tone.

"Get out." Guillermo warned before he swung the altar Bible against the side of the demon's head. There was a sizzle on impact and the demon cried out in pain,

"You little- fine. I'll come back another time-"

"N- fine. Just- bring a bottle of wine, and… and all is forgiven in the eyes of the lord." Guillermo sighed. Nandor chuckled and dissolved into the echo his laugh left in the lofty church ceilings.

At least booth duty wasn't boring anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to thank the nandermo discord server for fueling my insomnia driven pornate writing.


End file.
